Before I knew this stomach issue was going to be a very long, large issue that lasted way longer than I ever imagined, I had a consult booked in Victoria with the specialist that was to do my PRP injections. The whole family was all packed up and ready to go. I had my puke bucket in hand and inhaled Pepto Bismol on the drive down. Unfortunately, I had to have Brandon pull over a few times on the way to Victoria, nothing was going to hinder or get in the way of this appointment and I was determined to get to this consult. I knew it wasn’t contagious and had prewarned them before I even came. When I saw the specialist, she had reviewed all of my scans and medical notes and did a physical exam as well ( I obviously asked her to take it easy on me considering the current GI issues). She told me that I was a good candidate for the procedure but that she couldn’t guarantee anything. “Sometimes you only need one procedure and sometimes you need a bunch and sometimes it just doesn’t work on certain people,” she warned. I knew it was experimental and was willing to give it a shot as there were no other options, other than the surgical procedure that I could get done in the US. We discussed my current stomach issues and she suggested that it could be gerd. I knew I’d have to wait a bit to get a time slot for my procedure and also knew that my body needed to be stable and strong enough to endure it.
One of my best friends came to the island to visit me. It was so refreshing to have her here. We made the best of our time together even though I was out of commission for going out and showing her around.
My friend has traveled the world doing missions, using and growing in her God given gifts. We were sitting in the living room and I said, “I just don’t understand. I heard God‘s voice so clearly before and felt so connected in my relationship with Him, but right now I need that and it’s not happening. I feel like He doesn’t hear me.” My girlfriend looked at me and said, “God is like a parent. When you are showing your girls a new skill or maybe teaching them how to do a puzzle, the first time you are really involved and do it along with them. Eventually you sit back and let your child work on it because you’ve equipped them and know that they are ready and capable to do it on their own. Even though they may struggle, you know that they will make it through and figure it out. That’s just how God is with us. He’s equipped you and He knows that you have all of the tools. It’s not that He isn’t with you but He knows that you‘ve got this.” That analogy has stuck with me. That perspective really helped me to understand God in a different way.
I was so tired of being so sick and dealing with my chronic pain. My friend had some oil and anointed me with it and prayed over my body. I asked her if she thought if there were things in my life holding me back and if she had any suggestions. She offered to do an exercise with me and I had done something similar like this before just not in this way. She asked me questions and in turn I would ask the Holy Spirit these questions and I could hear His voice within my mind. It was really amazing praying through things and feeling a complete weight lifted off of me. She asked the Holy Spirit to tell me how He saw me after we had worked through the hard things and these were some things that He said:
You are beautiful
You are loved
You are whole
You are forgiven
This day had brought so much freedom and overwhelming love. Something that my soul really needed to help me to keep moving forward and to lift my weary heart up.
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